The First Day of School

The first day of school is always terrifying.

It doesn't matter how long I've been doing this -- hell, I've been going to the first day of school since I was about four, though I probably didn't start being a little nervous about it until I got closer to 6th or 7th grade.  That nervousness abruptly vanished upon entering college, only to return with a vengeance when I started student teaching.

I was 23 the semester I student taught -- a baby, by most professional standards.  I was terrified.

That wasn't my worst first day; that came the next year, when my stress levels were so sky-high upon starting my first year actually teaching that I put myself in the ER with abdominal pain and nausea the night before.

Since then, things have gotten a little better; this year, I actually slept some the night before school started, which was a new development.

The first day of school is stressful just because all of a sudden, there are kids in your classroom.  I never find the actual day to be all the difficult: the kids tend to behave, the lessons tend to be fairly straightforward, and with the sudden shock of the bell schedule again, the day goes pretty quickly.

Far worse than the first day are the first two weeks.

These weeks are rough, and I've always found that to be true.  They just are -- I'm never quite sure where my students are, ability-wise, and the kids are so anxious or perhaps apathetic that they don't want to talk or volunteer in class.  I don't know any of them yet, so I have to be tough all around; I'm not sure yet who will quiet when I give them a look or stand next to them compared to who will only settle if I kick them out to the principal's office or give a detention.  Sometimes jokes fall totally flat because I don't know the personalities in the room yet.  They're nervous to talk to me because, despite the ten minutes I take to tell them about myself, they don't know me yet either.

Everyone is uncomfortable those first two weeks, and it makes them hell.

For now, I'm feeling good about things: I have sophomore for the first time, which is a little weird because I've never taught the curriculum, but I'm liking the kids more than I expected.  The seniors are feeling haughty because they are seniors; hopefully, they'll chill in about a week and I can have some actual conversations with them.  Right now, it's a lot of muttered comments under their breath and little interpersonal interaction.  That usually gets better; my fingers are crossed it holds true.

Monday starts the first full week back, and unfortunately, it also starts pre-assessments and poetry for Senior Composition and 10th grade, respectively.  Always fun to give a test Monday morning to seniors! But that rigor helps them understand what I'll expect of them later, and the poetry will let my 10th graders know that we're here to learn too.

As nervous as I still am, the butterflies of the first days are settling into the bland, uncomfortable territory of the first weeks.  By Labor Day, everything will be great -- I'll know my students, conversations will have gone from awkward, 'what do you like to do' styles to more immediate and relevant topics, and school will have settled back into a familiar routine of work and learning.

It's my fourth year, and I'm finally feeling like I have the hang of the first month of school.  Here goes nothing!