And I thought I had a bad semester.
My colleague and I aren't very close, but she's one of the more friendly people in my department, which means she and I have had multiple pseudo-intimate conversations just in passing over the four years I've spent at Herbert High. I've always found her willing to share a laugh or a lesson plan, both of which are essential in our school.
Since her diagnosis, she's become one of the most inspirational people I know. She keeps a hilarious, poignant blog about her experience, shaved her head before chemo took her hair, and (most impressively) still comes to school everyday. That's right -- this woman has Stage II cancer, and yet she's still there every day, planning lessons and grading papers and generally going about being a great teacher.
It's hard for me to convey just how much I admire her. I'm pretty sure that, if I'd been diagnosed with cancer, I'd be sitting at home crying and/or generally feeling sorry for myself -- coming to school would be the last thing on my mind.
I share all this so that my next story makes sense, because if I started this post by saying that I'd decided to shave my head, the average person might think I was crazy. I know my dad had that reaction.
Last week, Herbert High hosted an event called "Operation B.A.L.D. -- Be A Little Daring." This operation was to raise money to support Quinn (Note: not her real name), who in turn choose to donate the money to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Over the previous weeks, the school sought out volunteers to shave their heads. Lots of people -- about ten total, close to 10% of the staff members in my building -- volunteered.
I was not one of them.
I'm a young, female teacher with short hair and tattoos -- I'm hesitant to do anything that draws extra attention to my appearance during any given school day. I refuse to wear leggings to work, instead consistently wearing business slacks or skirts and button downs. Basically, I'm careful about appearing professional at all times, and so shaving my head was not even on my radar.
Until a close friend decided to do it. She thought it was a great idea for me to join her, but I was hesitant. I asked opinions all around -- my students were split 50-50 on it being either an awesome or a horrible idea. My dad (as mentioned above) sent me a text in ALL CAPS that said "DO NOT SHAVE YOUR HEAD LET THE OTHER KNUCKLEHEADS DO IT" and little else. My husband, loving and supportive man that he is, said "Babe, that'd be HOT."
None of this made things any easier.
But one thing did: of all the people in my building who had volunteered, not one was a member of Quinn and I's department. Many other departments were represented, but Language Arts was not.
After that, the decision was easy. Quinn didn't have a choice -- she's bald right now, totally bare, and she didn't have a say. Here, I was being given a choice, an opportunity to support my colleague and show her just how much I admire her strength and grace in light of her situation.
So last Friday, I got up on that stage during lunch, and I shaved most of my head.
I admit: I chickened out of shaving my whole head. I'm just not that brave, and I can admit that. So I left the top of my head long, bangs still hanging in my face and overshadowing the shaved sides. I think I'm pretty lucky -- it actually looks pretty good, even after my hairdresser got a hold of it and cut basically all of my bangs off (and after I tried to even it out, a foolish decision that left me with a little bald spot on one side. Oops!).
The support from my building has been incredible -- not one person has had anything negative to say, including my building administrators. My students love it, and my friends and colleagues have had nothing but positive things to say. It's cool in a way -- I've always like Herbert, but this makes me feel so much closer to my community.
My definition of what it means to be professional has changed with my hair. I'm realizing all of a sudden that professional is less about physical appearance than I always thought -- sure, I should keep up my business casual attire in support of my profession, but that's not the whole story. Professional is even more about my own attitude: If I behave like a professional, then nothing else matters. I can set positive examples for my students even if I've shaved my head.
This is something I've long understood in theory -- I have over a dozen tattoos, for example, and I've never felt like they make me less of a professional -- but I also don't show off my ink at school.
There's nothing I can do to hide my shaved head. And it doesn't make me less of a professional either.
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